Hittin' the Road

So I'm off! Vacation time. To the right is a map I shoddily drew on using MS Paint (Totally old school, I know, but I did it at work on my PC that doesn't have Photoshop, so Pbbbbbth) of the route that I plan to take. There are numbers that indicate the order in which I will see things.

Basically, I have an "open bus" ticket, which means I've paid for the whole ticket, which includes certain cities (in this case, Saigon--Nha Trang--Hoi An--Hué--Hanoi), but I don't have all the dates yet. So I have the first leg, Saigon to Nha Trang, which leaves at 7:30 a.m. this Sunday, the 13th. After that, I book each leg in the next city, so when I get to Nha Trang I'll tell the bus company that I want to go to Hoi An on Tuesday, and when I get to Hoi An I'll tell them when I want to go to Hué, etc. I don't plan on using the bus the whole way--for example, I've heard that the train from Da Nang to Hué is really beautiful, so I'll be doing that instead of the bus. From Hanoi to Halong Bay I'll have to take a different bus, probably. Then once I'm in Hanoi I'll take the train to Sapa.

Once I'm in Sapa, I'll have to see how much time I've spent getting there. If I've taken my time, then I'll just go back to Hanoi from Sapa and fly back to Saigon from Hanoi. If it's possible, I'll fly back from Sapa, but I don't think it is.

However, if for whatever reason I've gotten through Vietnam quickly, then I'll figure out how to get from Sapa or Hanoi into Laos, to Luang Prabang, where I'll hopefully do an elephant trek. And see other stuff. But obviously the elephants are the main draw for me. I'm seriously in love with elephants.

But anyway, I'll see. I don't absolutely have to see Laos on this trip--I'll have other times later in the year, for the Tet vacation (depending on if my parents are here or not), or after my contract ends in April, before returning to the good ol' USA.

This trip is about a few things. It's about seeing this country that I'm inhabiting, seeing a lot more of it, and getting a larger view of it. It's about taking a break from work, and from my routine, and just going with the flow, on my own time. I'm traveling alone, so I won't be coordinating schedules with anyone else, and I can see things as quickly or as slowly as I wish. And, lastly, it's about seeing new things, and meeting new people. Shaking things up a bit. Reminding myself that I do in fact know how to keep my eyes and mind and heart open.

I'm seriously looking forward to it. I'll be stopping into internet cafés to check email and facebook, so I'll try to keep those places, and here maybe, updated at least with my location. Then when I get back I'll be adding a gazillion photos, most likely. So I'm not lost and gone forever, don't worry. Just on hiatus.

I'll be in touch. Soon.

Staying.

So, a decision has been reached! I will be completing the project that I am currently working on, our 2010 catalogue, and then I will have a holiday from September 13th to the 31st. I plan on using that time to take the trip that I'd been planning to take anyway, after my old contract finishes. I'm looking north, and will stop at many places along the way--Nha Trang, Hoi An, Da nang, Hue, Hanoi, and Halong Bay, hopefully. I don't think I'll have time to go into Laos this trip.

Then I'll come back and start again on Oct. 1, working here for another 6 months, with a fairly generous raise. And we'll see what happens.

I think I'm making a good choice, because I'm being offered a job (a rare occurrance these days), a little bit more money, and more work experience. I'm by no means giving up on my New York City adventure--don't worry, that is definitely in store for me. I'm just postponing that plunge, so that when I do finally get there I'll have a bit more money saved up and a bit more job experience under my belt, to hopefully give me a leg up on the competition. We shall see.

That's the update. More later.

Love!

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

A more serious blog post.

I have been here almost one year, and my contract with my company is up September 8th. I have not made the best of impressions on my company, and had not thus far been asked to stay on with them for any more time, like one of my more diligent coworkers had been. So I was prepared to go on my own way after the end of this contract, moving on to other things in my life.

If you've talked to me recently, you know that my personal compass has been pointing in New York City's direction, to the center of the American publishing world, and a new exciting place to live, filled with loved ones and possibility. A new adventure, if you will. I'm terrified and stoked at the same time, and I've been starting to gather together a plan for my travel in SE Asia post-work, followed by my return to L.A., followed by my plunge into NYC. It's a lot to handle, but I can do it.

Now, today, I am offered the possibility to stay at my current job, possibly with a slightly higher salary (but I don't expect much). What was actually said, in so many words, was "We are impressed by your progress [read: from crappy employee to slightly less crappy employee] and would be content if you would like to stay with us, or if you would like to return in the future and we have a position open." So, they don't hate me. This is good.

However, now I've been thrown for a loop. Just this morning, before this new development, I was just wrapping my head about the planning I need to do for my travels, and for my return trip: finding train schedules through Vietnam, searching for someone to take my room, shipping stuff home if necessary, buying people gifts...it's a lot. And now this. I could stay, or come back, if I choose to.

I had a profound thought yesterday, that has been building inside me for a while, as I've been pondering the future, and my romantic ideas of New York, mixed with the harsh realities of the economy and employment situation, mixed with my feelings for Vietnam and my job here, etc. The thought is this: This is my life, but this is not my life. It is my life in the sense that I am here, living, gaining work experience, making friends, and so on. But it is not my life in the sense that it is not how I envision my life to be, in the long run. It is not the life that I want to be living for an extended period of time.

So I have to think about this--do I want to continue living this life, here, and postpone living the life that I feel I am striving for? There are many options to consider: I could possibly travel in SE Asia, then go home for a bit, then return here to work. Or I could finish here as planned, travel, return home, and see how I fare in NYC, and have the option of contacting Parkstone and seeing if there would be a position for me, if I find nothing in the States that holds me there. Or I could just stay, and postpone all travel altogether. I'm just not sure.

Luckily, I don't have to decide this minute. I do need to decide something soon--at least what I'll be doing for the next few month--as those few months are fast approaching. But I can let it marinate, talk with my parents and my therapist and my friends, and see what my internal compass points to. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Love.

Birthday!

Schnitzel (Mareike) made me a cake! It was yummy:



We went to a swanky Italian restaurant, and I got ravioli with ricotta and spinach. Heaven.


Then to La Fenêtre Soleil for a delicious mojito, and to watch some hot salsa dancers.


I will write more later. Promise.

When I've spoken to many of you, I've discussed how exhausting it is to live here. I've thought about that a little bit more. Ok, a lot more.

First of all, Vietnam is simply more of a sensory stimulus that any other place I've ever lived. Noise of motorbikes, people yelling, people trying to get your attention simply because you look different, and they're curious, even though you really just want to be left alone, and have one moment where you don't feel like some sort of exhibit to be stared at and heckled. Smells of exhaust and frying foods and urine, assaulting your nostrils, and no one else seems to even notice. Constant worry that the sky could open up at any moment and empty itself on you, and you forgot your umbrella and poncho at home, and you don't possess the mysterious sixth sense that the Vietnamese have for knowing when the rain is on its way. Then there's the cars and motorbikes, who stop for nothing and no one, who act as if both the roads and the sidewalks are theirs alone, and what right do you have to be walking on them? Motorists who never look before they merge, or turn a corner, or back out of a driveway, and act as if you, the pedestrian, are the offender. Every day I almost get run over, and I'm the one that ends up feeling guilty about it.

There are other factors such as these, but what is almost harder is the mental and emotional strain that goes along with it. As I was typing the above paragraph, I could feel (and I'm sure the tone is coming across) the resentment rising up within me. And I feel it almost every day, when I'm out in this strange new world, dealing with the sounds and smells and the motorists. Not only do I feel like I'm doing battle with the world here--fighting for my right to walk on the sidewalk, for my right to walk in peace and not be heckled by teenage boys, for my right to pay the same price for things that the Vietnamese do--but I'm also doing battle with myself and my ways of thinking. Because my mind does get invaded by thoughts that are negative and prejudiced and ignorant-sounding, and I judge myself for them. I do catch myself thinking, How can these people act this way? How can they treat me like this? How can they treat themselves like this? How can they drive this way? When I'm tired and I'm irritable and I just can't understand, that's when it's the hardest. Because I don't want to label a whole group of people as stupid--different does not equal stupid, by any means. But sometimes I'm just not up for gaining perspective and embracing this new culture, and instead I just want to shake some of these people and yell at them, "How can you let your children ride on motorbikes, while all the adults are forced to wear helmets?? How is that in ANY WAY logical???"

So it's exhausting. Thinking that I'm bigoted, that I'm racist, that I'm exactly the kind of person that I've always thought I wasn't. And then convincing myself that this isn't true. I just try to keep in mind that this experience, as strenuous as it is right now, is giving me this new perspective. I'm learning about another culture, and I'm learning about myself in the process, which is never easy. It's worth it, but it's never easy.

I'm running out of steam. This moment of musings brought to you by Arielle's exhausting Friday night.

Love.

You. Are. So sweet. So sweet!

Hello all! How are ya? I apologize for the lack of updates lately (again). I was waiting on a time when I had new photos to post, but then I found out that my camera is a vampire that sucks batteries dry even when it's turned off. It's all, "Mmmmmm! Battery acid! (slurrrrrrp)." So no new photos. You'll have to be satisfied by my words for the moment.

If you're curious about the title of this post, watch this video. It's wonderful. I've been bopping my head to this song for a few days now.

Along that vein, I had a wonderful early birthday present given to me. I have been really excited about the newest Regina Spektor album, "far," for a very long time, and wanted to buy it on iTunes. However, since my wallet got stolen in Da Lat, I haven't had any cards besides my Vietnamese ATM card--the new plastic got sent to my house in CA, and sending them here is not the most secure idea. So I went on iTunes and discovered that you can now "gift" music to people: but it and send it to them, essentially. I went on the magical world of Facebook and posted a request for the cd, not expecting a real response, and surprise! Eric Hwang, who I not seen or heard of in at least 2 years (I believe), got it for me, reaffirming my firm belief that I know some damn good people.

So this CD, I have to tell you, is amazing. If you're not up for buying it, you can take a listen here, as pretty much all the songs are on YouTube. Her songs are at times haunting and uplifting, always witty and whimsical, and her voice is incredible. I am particularly fond of "Eet," "Laughing With," "Human of the Year,"and "Folding Chair." And...all the other songs on the album. I've listened to it about 5 times since getting it a few days ago, playing it every time I get home. Take a listen, and tell me what you think. Especially if you like it, because then I'll feel good that I shared some music with you.

As for today, I'm listening to Regina, then going with Mareike to get a 90-minute massage, which is much needed. Much. Then more laziness. Woo!

I hope all of you are well, and remember that I am thinking of you. Every single one of you is appreciated, because you are all awesome. Don't forget, ok? Ok.

Love.

About a month ago, I moved to a new house, and someone was sad about it, hanging out while I packed:
But he managed. I've heard he now has 4 new brothers and sisters, making that house a 7 cat household. I'm glad I got out.

I'm also making some new friends. This is Caitlin, who I met in the Pub on Quiz Night, who told me about the International Choir of Ho Chi Minh City, which I then joined. We just had our concert and are taking a break (that will last until I'm getting ready to leave the country), but Caitlin and I are still going to hang out. This is at Wally's 2nd birthday party, and Caitlin is obviously excited about all of Wally's toys.
She's kind of awesome. Also kind of awesome is the birthday girl, who got--among other things--a new apron from her grandparents. I have no idea what she's pointing at.
She's holding some of the wooden kitchen set she got from her other grandparents--wooden cutting board, knife, sliceable wooden fruits and vegetables...she also got a laptop that plays very loud techno music. As you can imagine, Julia was not excited about that gift.

Last weekend Mareike (my housemate, coworker, and friend--no, we haven't gotten tired of each other yet) and I went to the Museum of Fine Arts. The art itself wasn't that exciting, ranging from 7th century Buddhist sculptures to contemporary lacquered pieces, but the building itself was beautiful. It's a colonial mansion of sorts, complete with beautiful windows:
And a courtyard that felt oddly Mediterranean to us. Gorgeous, in any event. It helped that it was a bright sunny day.
Afterward we wandered around and found the antique store neighborhood that I talked about in the last post.

All in all, it's going ok over here. I'm in the home stretch, with just under 3 months to go. I'm really happy in this new house: Mareike and I are getting along well, and the other two housemates (1 American guy and 1 older British guy) are pretty nice, too. It's comfy, social, and spacious, and I'm glad I came here. Work might be driving me crazy, but I'm happy to come home and hang out.

Anyway, I feel like I'm running out of things to say. I'll muse some more and come back later.

Love.

Random weekend shots

There are supposed to be more photos up here, but after uploading these three my internet decided that it wanted to have its own lazy Sunday and stopped doing what I wanted. So here's what I've got so far.

On Saturday Mareike and I went to the Fine Arts Museum (of which I have photos to be posted later), and then strolled around the neighborhood, which turned out to be where the antique stores are:
Like I said, I have photos from the museum that I'll post another time. Then I had my last choir concert with the International Choir of Ho Chi Minh City, followed by several beers at a bar that has, inexplicable, stairs to nowhere:
I really wanted to see someone get reeeeaaaaally drunk and try to climb them. As long as that someone wasn't me.

And, finally, a photo of my new room, which I have been decorating enthusiastically:

So there's that. I hope everyone is well. Oh! Tomorrow marks my 9-month anniversary at my job here: only 3 more to go! I'd better make the most of them...

Rest in Peace, Old Lady Dog

Last Thursday, one of my dogs passed away, so I want to pay a little homage to her today.

The day before my 6th birthday, a little brown dog showed up on our doorstep and wouldn't leave; my mom was afraid she'd bite the mailman and we'd get sued, and she seemed nice enough, so we adopted her. Then we found out she was pregnant, and on August 3rd (My due date--I was prematurely born on July 16th. We took this as a sign that these pups were meant to be with us.) Skimmer had 7 puppies. We raised them a little, then gave 6 of them away and I chose Streak to be kept. At the time, she was a tiny pup--I could hold her in the palm of my hand. (I apologize for the lack of photos, but that was--GASP!--before the digital age.) She was a little roly-poly black pup with a small white streak on the back of her neck, which quickly disappeared after a few years.


She started out spunky, playing tug of war with me and old socks, and wrestling with her mom and our other dog, an older German Shepherd named Ember. But Streak got old pretty quickly, and while her mom was still going on 15-mile hikes with my dad, Streak wasn't exercising much and developed arthritis. She had a thyroid problem as well, and was on lots of medications. It feels like she's been an old lady for a long time--at least 6 or 7 years. But she was always sweet, content to just sit next to you at the breakfast table and have her chin scratched, raising a paw to say "More, please."


In the last few years, she really embraced her crotchety-old-lady persona, I think. We had younger dogs wanting to play with her, and she'd just yip at them crankily, but her tail would be wagging, betraying her actual level of irritability. It was like she was happy to be asked to play, but was just too tired to engage. She would lie on our back porch and yip at nothing; I think she was just making sure the world knew she was there, and she had something to say about it.



And, evidenced by these photos, she was really good at giving coy facial expressions.

I like to think that now I have 4 dogs up there in whatever heaven all dogs go to (Analyze me all you want, but while I have no problem questioning ideas of God or Heaven when it comes to human beings, I need to believe in a heaven for dogs. It just comforts me.), wrestling and napping in the shade, and indulging in a never-ending supply of chew bones.

She had a good run, and she will be sorely missed.

Update? Dunno.

I've been feeling a lot of things these past few weeks, which has prevented me from updating this here blog. However, I'm determined to start back up again. And I'm going to take baby steps.

I just moved from one house to another, nicer house, and I'll be putting up some photos as soon as I clean up my room and photograph it. This house has less kittens (0 kittens, to be exact), but more friendliness and sunshine (Literally, because my room now has a window to the outside world. Such luxury!). And communal cooking--always a good thing.

In any event, at this moment it is 12:18 a.m. on a...Sunday morning, technically, and I'm not all that tired, but I'm not all that awake either. I'm in that weird in-between state where I don't really want to DO anything, but I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep well. I think I'm going to try sleep. I'll leave you with this, taken in Da Lat, at a gas station:

Going on a small vacation

Hello everyone,

I know I've been terrible about updating lately. I'm going through some rough things over here, and just haven't had the energy or the inspiration to write. I'm focusing on me for a bit, getting my body healthy, and my head and heart back to normal.

So what better time for a vacation, right? We have a four-day weekend for Liberation/Reunification Day (April 30th) and Labor Day. So me and my friend and coworker Mareike are heading to the mountains, to a village called Da Lat, to see something new and hopefully escape the oppressive heat of Saigon.

It takes about 7 hours to get there by bus (on a windy, narrow mountain road, I'm told), and we've got out hotel booked for 3 nights. So, armed with out Lonely Planets and cameras, we'll head off to hopefully see some waterfalls and pagodas, as well as take in some mountain vistas. We shall see.

I am only hoping that I can relax enough, open my mind and heart up to this new place, and have a good time. I think I will. Again, we shall see.

I would love to hear any friendly voices right now, so if you're bored, shoot me an email. I'll reply. Unless I'm in on a mountain somewhere, in which case...I'll still reply. Just later.

More soon. Love.

I'm melting!

Today I woke up around 10:30 am, expecting to have a choir rehearsal (I have joined the International Choir of Ho Chi Minh City) at noon. So I got up and walked to the market to get fruits and veggies, and in the 20 minutes that I was out there (actually within the first 5), I was drenched in sweat. Lovely, huh?

So I got picked up by Long, my motorbike driver, at 11:45 and dropped off at rehearsal, only to find that it had been cancelled. It being relatively (maybe a 30-minute walk) close to my house, I walked home. And man--it is BOILING out there.

According to weather.com, it's 92 out there but feels like 104. With 60% humidity. Jeebus.

So I picked up a Ngoc Nghia--a sugar cane juice with lots of ice--and am now home, in my air-conditioned room, trying to dry off. Oy.

I'm not all that talkative lately, in this forum

So, we may have a new kitten. I don't know if he has a name yet, but it might be Curry. He's tiny-tiny. And his ears remind me of the bat (Batty? No, that's Ferngully...) from the movie Anastasia, the one who says "and I geeve her a HA! and a hi-YA! And I keeck her sir!"


Also, in my last weekend at Mui Ne, I went back to the sand dunes and there were ponies munching on lotus-lake grasses:


It was super hot, so that seemed like a good idea, I guess.

That's all I got for now.

Sunset on my roof, cat

Beep beep, beep beep, yeah!

Shot from my commute: morning/evening

Vung Tau

Last weekend I went to a beach close to Ho Chi Minh City, and it was...not the greatest. Unlike Mui Ne, the beach that I went to early in my trip here, Vung Tau is a purely Vietnamese beach--it doesn't really have much appeal to many expats. It's a place where the Vietnamese go on the weekends to get away from the city. This is why, when I called ahead to book a room in a cheap hotel, none of them spoke enough English to do so. Thus, when I got there, I had to pay way more than I wanted to ($30 a night), and I was cranky about it.

The Vietnamese don't like the sun; as I've said in older posts, white skin is a status symbol. So they go to the beach and plop down under umbrellas. Also, the women don't really wear bathing suits for modesty reasons, I'm guessing, so they swim in their clothes--shirts and shorts, usually. This made me the only pale person on the beach, the only one in the sun, and the only one showing any skin. (I wore my tankini top, so as not to blind people with my tummy, and I kept my shorts on. Scandalous.) Needless to say, I was the entertainment of the day. I was gawked at, talked about, and yelled at (I pretended not to notice). Not conducive to relaxation.


Incidentally, Vung Tau is home to one of the largest Jesus statues in Asia, as well as this random abandoned mansion.



The photo album is here.

Nothing really eventful happened on this trip, except that I got very flustered and anxious and sunburned. Not an awesome combination. But hey, look, some Engrish!


Mmmmm, I love mouse chocolate, but only when it is made from Italian Chef.

Miscellany (sp?)

I'm currently at a high-stress point in my time here, with work, my personal life, etc. Lately I've been a combination of angry and exasperated pretty much all the time, and it has prevented me from having very many deep thoughts that I would want to share here.

(Side note: the most random people have "stumbled upon" my blog and talked to me about it. I guess if you put in a few phrases in Google regarding my name, my company, or the country, you get the blog. For example, my coworker Thu, whose wedding I attended and blogged about, read it with her husband--they said they had searched "Baseline" (my office name) and found it. Lucky for me, they weren't offended by what I had written. But I've also had a few random people who I've seen in bars find the blog, and that combined with the other thing is making me think more about what I post. This isn't a journal, it's public, and I have to remember that.)

So. Because I don't have any really good stories to put up right now, I have some photos:

Ginger and Chilli, being cats.

"Take a load of your feet" at a place called Texas BBQ,
where they make a really good bacon cheeseburger

A plethora of crocodiles at an amusement park/zoo--these appear to be the "reserve crocs," the ones on break while their brethren lurk around in the swamp area

Dam Sen Amusement Park

Le Pub, my most frequent hangout. During the week the have drink specials, such as $1 vodka mixers or $1 gin and tonics. Saigon Beer (which is pretty decent, in my opinion) is $1 all the time. And it's really nice, air conditioned with a patio, and the people are friendly. Whenever I go, I run into someone I know. This is also where quiz night happens on Tuesdays.

So, there it is. I hope to be more inspired soon.

How this will change me

I was out with some girlfriends last night, entertaining a woman from Paris who had come to Ho Chi Minh to work with my company, who is publishing a few books with her. This was her first time in Asia, and as we were sitting in a bar after dinner we just started talking about how different it is. She had been to Singapore before coming to Saigon, but when asked to describe Singapore, she said "It's a lot like London." I haven't been there, but I've heard it's true--the laws are very strict regarding littering and other activity that could look the least bit unclean, and there are cameras everywhere. So, it feels like London.

She then looked around the street outside the bar, at the women with children selling gum and tissues for money (to give to men probably hiding in the shadows, watching them), the vendors selling sunglasses and lighters and pot...and she was just like "I will never see people the same way again."

And it's just so true. I am glad to be here for several practical reasons, the main one being that it is waaaaay more affordable to live here than it is to live in the States right now, even on my low salary. The less practical reasoning is that, because I do know that I want and, for my vague career goals, need to go back to the States to start working my way up the publishing ladder, this experience is giving me a new set of eyes--a set that has seen this part of the world, and is learning just how different it really is.

Ok, I started writing the above paragraphs a few days ago, and then ran out of steam on what I was saying, and now that I'm going back to it I can't quite pick it up again. But there you have it--some random thoughts on living here.

Hopefully I'll have some more interesting things to write about soon.

Happy Valentine's Day from Vietnam

Why, hello!

I don't really believe in Valentine's Day, as holidays go. My hippie views push me towards believing that if you love someone, you should express that every day. I know the day started as a Saint's day, but now it's just a reminder to do something that we don't do enough of in our daily lives.

That little disclaimer aside, I'd love to wish all of you lots of love today. I love you. Yes, you. Sitting in front of your computer, reading my little blogeroni. I'd hug you if I were there, but because I'm not I'll just pretend like I have super powers and squint my eyes and mentally send you a hug, mk?

Mk.

I hugged an elephant and I liked it

After standing under the waterfall, my tour guide took be to a smaller temple that is supposedly a great sunset spot. It was, in fact, a great sunset spot, but the most exciting thing was that I hugged an elephant. Here's me being awkward about it, because every time she shifted her weight I flinched. Elephants are huge, and kind of daunting.

Also, these pictures are all slightly blurry because I didn't want to use the flash and possibly scare her.

Ok, and here's a sunset photo. Just for you.

There are more photos added to this album, and I just made an album here of the last temple, which was very Indiana Jones-esque. The only way to really see the temple was to scramble over the ruins, climbing over stones that are hundreds of years old. Hundreds. Of. Years. Old. Crazy.