Staying.

So, a decision has been reached! I will be completing the project that I am currently working on, our 2010 catalogue, and then I will have a holiday from September 13th to the 31st. I plan on using that time to take the trip that I'd been planning to take anyway, after my old contract finishes. I'm looking north, and will stop at many places along the way--Nha Trang, Hoi An, Da nang, Hue, Hanoi, and Halong Bay, hopefully. I don't think I'll have time to go into Laos this trip.

Then I'll come back and start again on Oct. 1, working here for another 6 months, with a fairly generous raise. And we'll see what happens.

I think I'm making a good choice, because I'm being offered a job (a rare occurrance these days), a little bit more money, and more work experience. I'm by no means giving up on my New York City adventure--don't worry, that is definitely in store for me. I'm just postponing that plunge, so that when I do finally get there I'll have a bit more money saved up and a bit more job experience under my belt, to hopefully give me a leg up on the competition. We shall see.

That's the update. More later.

Love!

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

A more serious blog post.

I have been here almost one year, and my contract with my company is up September 8th. I have not made the best of impressions on my company, and had not thus far been asked to stay on with them for any more time, like one of my more diligent coworkers had been. So I was prepared to go on my own way after the end of this contract, moving on to other things in my life.

If you've talked to me recently, you know that my personal compass has been pointing in New York City's direction, to the center of the American publishing world, and a new exciting place to live, filled with loved ones and possibility. A new adventure, if you will. I'm terrified and stoked at the same time, and I've been starting to gather together a plan for my travel in SE Asia post-work, followed by my return to L.A., followed by my plunge into NYC. It's a lot to handle, but I can do it.

Now, today, I am offered the possibility to stay at my current job, possibly with a slightly higher salary (but I don't expect much). What was actually said, in so many words, was "We are impressed by your progress [read: from crappy employee to slightly less crappy employee] and would be content if you would like to stay with us, or if you would like to return in the future and we have a position open." So, they don't hate me. This is good.

However, now I've been thrown for a loop. Just this morning, before this new development, I was just wrapping my head about the planning I need to do for my travels, and for my return trip: finding train schedules through Vietnam, searching for someone to take my room, shipping stuff home if necessary, buying people gifts...it's a lot. And now this. I could stay, or come back, if I choose to.

I had a profound thought yesterday, that has been building inside me for a while, as I've been pondering the future, and my romantic ideas of New York, mixed with the harsh realities of the economy and employment situation, mixed with my feelings for Vietnam and my job here, etc. The thought is this: This is my life, but this is not my life. It is my life in the sense that I am here, living, gaining work experience, making friends, and so on. But it is not my life in the sense that it is not how I envision my life to be, in the long run. It is not the life that I want to be living for an extended period of time.

So I have to think about this--do I want to continue living this life, here, and postpone living the life that I feel I am striving for? There are many options to consider: I could possibly travel in SE Asia, then go home for a bit, then return here to work. Or I could finish here as planned, travel, return home, and see how I fare in NYC, and have the option of contacting Parkstone and seeing if there would be a position for me, if I find nothing in the States that holds me there. Or I could just stay, and postpone all travel altogether. I'm just not sure.

Luckily, I don't have to decide this minute. I do need to decide something soon--at least what I'll be doing for the next few month--as those few months are fast approaching. But I can let it marinate, talk with my parents and my therapist and my friends, and see what my internal compass points to. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Love.

Birthday!

Schnitzel (Mareike) made me a cake! It was yummy:



We went to a swanky Italian restaurant, and I got ravioli with ricotta and spinach. Heaven.


Then to La Fenêtre Soleil for a delicious mojito, and to watch some hot salsa dancers.


I will write more later. Promise.