Eight Crazy Nights

I'm thinking of celebrating Hannukah this year. Is that weird? It probably is. All my life I've considered myself an atheist, and wrestled with the concept of faith, settling to call myself agnostic and not devote too much energy to the subject altogether.

In my family, we always did both Christmas and Hannukah in the most secular of ways--lighting the candles, having a tree, exchanging presents. This year, when I won't be seeing my family or most of my friends, or having a tree, I have this strong desire to light the menorah (if I can find one). I read an article recently that was written by a Jew working in Saigon about his experience being Jewish here. And he mentioned that for Hannukah, one of the main principles is that the menorah lights the night, and shows other wandering Jews that they are not alone. I really, really like this idea; I like the idea of putting candles in windows in general, but I like the idea that I would be doing something that Jews all over the world would be doing at (almost) the same time (time zones permitting, etc.). As much as I can say that I don't believe in God, I do like the idea of feeling like part of something bigger than me, of participating in something big. Especially since, while I've been making friends here, I still feel alone sometimes, and if lighting these candles can help alleviate that for me and possibly for others (granted, there aren't many windows in our house; I'll probably put it on the roof somewhere.), then I think it's worth doing.

There is a Chabad center in Saigon, and I've got their information. I'm going to see if they loan out menorahs, or sell them and Hannukah candles, or something. I'll see what they say.

[Update: I went to the Chabad after work, and--after a somewhat awkward conversation about my status or non-status as a Jew, and my desire to light the candles--was told that the Rabbi would email me when he gets back in town about picking up a menorah and some candles. So, success! They seemed really eager to have found a possible new Jew in town, so I felt kind of interroggated: Are you Jewish? Were you raised Jewish? Would you like to come to Shabbat services on Friday? So I kind of shuffled around the hard questions. I might go to the Hannukah party on Monday evening, for the lighting of the candles and a good Kosher meal. Because who doesn't like a good Kosher meal, eh? So we'll see how this little adventure goes.]