There's no place like home?

Well, day 1 in my new house is not looking so good. When talking to the girl who gave me the tour, it sounded like people kind of hung out together, but that doesn't really seem to be the case. Maraj and Jan went out (separately), Thi is upstairs in her room, and Ruth and her boyfriend (who enjoys not being clothed) have been blaring rap music all day with the door open. I know it's early, I just moved here, but I feel like an outsider and I don't have an "inside" anywhere. Being me, I worry about money a lot (even though it's cheap here), so I don't want to just go out somewhere by myself (What would I do? Eat? Shop? Wander around? This city is weird to wander around, because people stare and approach you trying to sell you things...) I miss being in the hotel because there the people were at least nice to me and pretended to care what I was doing. And offered me coffee and bananas.

When I first got to Paris, I had like a big panic attack of questions--can I do this? can I make it here? And that didn't really happen when I first got here...in general, I immediately liked it, but the whole experience felt temporary, since I was in a hotel. But now that I'm here, where I'm going to be living for the next year, and no one seems to give a shit about me, I'm panicking. What if I just end up living in my room, not talking to my roommates? The cats don't even care what I do. They like Maraj better.

And my phone's broken and the internet doesn't really work in my room, so I feel even more disconnected from the world. Tonight I'm going to get out--go to Bui Vien, where the hotel is and where there are more backpackers and I feel less like I stick out like a sore thumb. And I'll just hope this situation gets better. I just feel like I can't relax in this place yet, because I don't feel like I belong.

Deep breaths.

Update: Went out, bought a new phone (just decided that I'll have to chalk up buying the old one to me being foreign and unused to the value of the currency here and to people trying to rip you off), and then went to Julia's for dinner and America's Next Top Model. Got back, and Thi and Ruth were nice to me! This is progress. I'm hanging in there.